Trust

How producing my album "Selves" saved me during COVID lockdowns

Mar 26, 2024

I'm excited to utilize this platform to present my music and write about topics I am interested in.

For my first blog post, I want to focus on my latest album, "Selves." Specifically, I'll delve into individual songs in multiple posts. Today, I'll start with the first one called "Trust." I wrote the original version of this song in my early twenties. At the time, I was going through a Castaneda phase, reading all of his books and being particularly inspired by a favorite text from his teacher, Don Juan, which was used in the James Bond song "You Only Live Twice."

„You only live twice or so it seems
One life for yourself and one for your dreams
You drift through the years and life seems tame
′Til one dream appears and love is its name
And love is a stranger who'll beckon you on
Don′t think of the danger or the stranger is gone
This dream is for you, so pay the price
Make one dream come true, you only live twice
And love is a stranger who'll beckon you on
Don't think of the danger or the stranger is gone
This dream is for you, so pay the price
Make one dream come true, you only live twice“

Lyrics by Leslie Bricusse

*Art design for the song Trust by Phillipe Luptak*

This text resonated with me deeply, serving as the foundation for crafting this song. After creating an initial demo on my first music PC, I recorded another demo with an analog tape in one of the audio engineering studios at the University of Vienna. Using a used tape from my father, I began recording three songs, including this one. The instrumentation at that time consisted of a Rhodes, guitar, bass, and drums. This month I synced this recording (the tape had fluctuation in tempo) to the demo voice. Hear the result at the end of this post.

Years later, with my band FeinSinn, we revisited the song and decided that perhaps we needed a new set of lyrics, partly due to copyright reasons.

"There is always a morning after the darkest night,"

"Sometimes life seems to be hard, alone without support, so take away this illusion."

During challenging times, I found solace in repeating these fragments like mantras, which helped uplift me.

Also, the line “What kind of sensation is in your deeper soul?” serves as a gentle reminder to myself to pause for a moment amidst the stress of life and explore what lies beneath and inside me. I'm searching for the true roots and causes that manifest on the surface in my life.

The concept behind the album "Selves" is that each song represents a facet of myself. In the case of "Trust," it embodies the optimistic self, seeing the glass as half full.

I completed this album during lockdowns, which served as my emotional anchor. I had numerous external hard drives, perhaps a dozen, filled with unfinished compositions. I made a commitment to myself to finish eight of them, and doing so provided me with emotional support during those difficult times.

During this period, I also discovered remote recording, allowing me to collaborate with musicians internationally. This was one advantage of the pandemic, among others that I may discuss in future blog posts. Concerning vocals, I always felt that there needed to be a balance between male and female voices, which I believe adds depth to my songs.

For the recording, I found Bonnie: her sweet tone provided a nice contrast and suited the mood of the song well. When I sent the song to my living father, he responded, "What style is this?" It seemed he didn't quite understand it.

This album likely encompasses various styles, and while I've received advice to stick to one style for five albums, that doesn't interest me. I enjoy the variety of colors in my music, even if it may not be the most marketable approach.

I have a sense of security knowing that if my music resonates with me, it will likely resonate with others out there. How to reach those people is a different matter altogether.

My influences are drawn from classical music, as well as from bands like the Beatles and Pink Floyd from that era.

This interest began when I was a young boy, around five or six years old, listening to classical music in one room while exploring my brother's studio in another. I saw a sampler and a mixing console for the first time and was allowed to operate them partially.

I still walk across that balcony between those two apartments: one of my father, full of classical music by composers like Vivaldi, Mozart, Tchaikovski, Shostakovich and Schönberg and the other, belonging to my brother, a studio filled with gear such as samplers, synthesizers, computers, microphones, and a huge mixing desk. I invite you to join me on this musical journey.

Alexander Nantschev

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